Greg Bealer is a writer, actor, and photographer. He lives in North East Ohio.
All Dogs Go To Heaven
I used to love that movie.
Even as a kid, I understood
the inevitability of death,
and the consolation provided
by the idea of the rainbow bridge.
But it still took me twenty-six years
to comprehend the specific breed
of grief it was meant to represent.
That day in our apartment
I watched you lower yourself
into a crouch and shake.
Your eyes were unfocused but still
begging for me to stay, to do
something more. I wish I could say
that I didn't know, in your final moments,
what you were wishing for. But I knew
what you wanted to ask me for.
Not just me, but Jojo, and the magic pill
that had made it go away before.
I can't tell you that Jojo
replaced us two years ago
and even with the pills,
your spells grow closer together
than they've ever been before.
So I lower myself beside you
and tuck my hands into your fur,
so the seizure steals your vision,
you'll know I'm still here.
Holding your head in my hands,
I pray, desperate for any god to hear.
But no amount of tears directed at
any pantheon causes help to appear.
As you go limp in my arms,
I think of that movie, and all of those
re-animated dogs, the fun songs
that tried to prepare me for this moment.
A day ago I would have said
that I don't know if I believe in heaven,
but there on the floor I vow to.
Because now that you're gone
no fate scares me more than spending
the rest of eternity without my soul dog.
Kori Bower graduated in May 2023 from Allegheny College with Bachelor’s in English and Political Science, and is currently pursuing her MA/MFA at McNeese State University. She has been previously published in the Cathartic Youth Literary Magazine and Poet’s Choice.
