‘THE DINNER PARTY’
Artist Keunhoo Park
THE DINNER PARTY
Beth shuts the passenger door with a sigh and adjusts her black skirt.
The crunch beneath her heels gets clunkier as she steps from the concrete driveway onto the brick pavers leading to the front door of the large house. The sun peaks behind the tallest part of the house as it sets, leaving a dark sky behind that threatens an impending storm.
Sam rounds the front of the car. They greet each other with a strained smile, then begin walking toward the home. The light from each step illuminates Beth’s spiked heels.
Grabbing Sam's hand in hers, she says, "Let's not stay long, ok?"
"When the clock strikes midnight, we are gone," Sam emphasizes with a smirk.
"Sam," she responds, playfully slapping his arm.
Looking to the front of the driveway he motions, "Looks like Jenny and Doug are already here."
"Oh great," Beth responds. "We live closer yet are the last to get here. That's not obvious."
"What, that we didn't want to come in the first place?"
“Maybe I should talk to her tonight.” Beth mutters, tugging gently at her left ear.
“Talk to Jenny? Why? If it makes you this nervous, then…”
Beth shrugs unenthusiastically, “I don’t know. Maybe to make dinners like this less awkward.”
“What’s awkward about once best friends now hating each other?” Sam jokes. “All I know is Carl better be making his famous Quail or I’m outta here,”
They step up onto the front porch just in time to miss the slight drizzle beginning its descent, leaving a single drop on the back of Beth’s ankle. Beth looks down at her diamond ring, then to Sam, “Let’s just elope.”
Sam kisses her on the forehead, and whispers, “Now that wouldn’t be very responsible of us would it.”
Sam adjusts his tie. Just before he can ring the doorbell, the door flies open with a theatrical swoosh. In the doorway stands a tall man wearing a dress shirt and slacks, with a striped apron draped over his torso like a Michelin-starred butcher.
"Welcome!" Carl exclaims giving Sam a handshake, “Please come in!”
"Hi Carl," Beth says with a smile and a quick hug.
"Has it started raining?" Carl asks sticking his head out.
"Yep," Sam replies, "I think it's supposed to rain all night."
They step inside. A warm glow bathes the entry, flickering against the black iron handles on the massive door. A sandalwood candle burns nearby, giving the space the scent of a boutique.
Pausing in front of a mirror above the massive black console table, Beth adjusts a stray hair that has fallen from her carefully constructed updo. Turning the corner into the kitchen, she plasters on a smile as she enters.
"Hello everyone," Beth announces.
"Hello!" Deidra greets happily, throwing her arms around Beth’s neck.
"Your house looks amazing Deidra." Beth’s replies, smiling like her jaw might crack from the effort.
"Well, you haven't been here in forever," she responds, taking Beth's hand as she leads her deeper into the kitchen.
Half-full glasses of wine are scattered about on the enormous stone island. Large spreads of cheese and charcuterie platters are lined neatly down the middle. Doug sits on a barstool scrolling his phone. Leaning over onto the countertop is Jenny who straightens as Beth approaches.
"Hey," Jenny says. "I'm glad you could make it."
"I wouldn't miss Deidra's birthday," Beth replies, eyes fixed anywhere but on hers.
"Right," Jenny replies.
The silence between them stretches; the background noise of the room begins to feel almost oppressive to Beth as she tugs her left ear.
"It’s good to see you.” Beth finally says realizing her own rudeness, “Maybe we can talk later?"
"Yeah, I'd like that," Jenny replies with a more genuine smile.
Sam walks in with Carl and immediately gives Doug a bro-hug; half handshake, half shoulder bump.
"Well everyone, we just have about five minutes until dinner is served," Carl announces.
"Hmm I wonder what it could be," Jenny snickers.
Each of the dinner guests follow Deidra into the dimly lit dining room located right off the kitchen. Shadows on the wall reflect the two candelabras that adorn the well-appointed table, while the fine china has been laid out.
"Please find your name. You each have a seat," Deidra points out as they circle the table.
"Place cards?" Jenny asks, picking up the one with her name on it and flicking it between her fingers, observing the printed text.
"Just trying to be fancy." Deidra chuckles.
Bottles of red and white wine are grouped at either end of the table.
Sam and Beth find their names side by side on one side of the table, while Jenny and Doug find theirs on the opposite side. Deidra takes her seat at one end of the table, while Carl proudly carries in a large platter.
"No way, it's quail!" Doug exclaims. "How often would you say you go quail hunting, Carl?"
"Too often," Deidra replies with a roll of her eyes.
“This one here is a freshy!” Carl exclaims. “Yum.”
They each take their assigned seats and observe the various white, lidded platters scattered on the table. Deidra begins passing around the wine bottles. Carl takes his seat at the opposite end of the table, with his apron now off revealing a button-down shirt and tie with kittens on it.
Raising his glass Carl begins, "So happy to have you all here this evening. A very happy birthday to my beautiful wife."
"Happy birthday Deidra!" They each say clinking glasses.
"Dig in!" Carl exclaims.
Closest to the platters are Sam and Jenny. They each remove lids, pick up the serving spoons, and help themselves before passing the platters to their neighbor. Dinner has begun. Wine has been poured. Conversations drift toward college.
Back then, messy coffee tables covered in greasy pizza boxes and half drunken cans of beer were a normal site to wake up to in Beth and Jenny’s apartment. The two of them met freshman year in analytics class. In junior year they decided to move out of the dorms and into an apartment slightly off campus. Beth was single, while Jenny dated the cute psych professor. Secretly of course. As a practicing psychologist, it was obviously a bad look to be dating a student. He was young enough though that it was hard to believe he was even a professor at all.
It only lasted for a few months. Jenny described their breakup as a "Velvet Divorce." Like the one Czechoslovakia had in the early nineties when they became two separate countries. It made perfect sense to title it as such, as they both had always been quite a force in their own right. It only seemed fair to describe themselves as countries.
"So, what have you done today to celebrate D?" Beth asks.
"Yes, the big 3-5" Sam echoes while stabbing a piece of meat on his plate.
"Well, I had the most amazing massage this morning." Deidra’s eyes light up as she begins to talk about her day.
As Deidra drowns on and on about her deep tissue experience, Beth examines her plate, taking notice of the quail cut neatly into square-shaped pieces covered delicately with a light sauce. As a lawyer with her fiancé a doctor, she is no stranger to the fine dining experience, often where she has seen others order quail. It usually comes in the shape of the small bird, cooked of course. However, anytime she’s come to Deidra and Carl’s house for dinner, the quail is always cut up into tiny bite-sized pieces. She shrugs it off and indulges. She hasn’t eaten since breakfast as her debriefing ran long this afternoon.
About halfway through Dinner, Deidra excuses herself. When she returns, she carefully sets six small glass containers on the table. Two green, two red, and two blue; A mysterious liquid floating in each.
After carefully lining them up in front of her plate, Deidra sits back and smirks as Jenny asks, "Hey Deidra, whatcha got there?"
Looking up from his plate mid-bite, Carl exclaims, "Oh my God, Deidra I thought you were kidding when you said you were bringing those."
"Are those from that weird little shop on 4th?" Beth asks.
"Yes!” Deidra beams. “I finally went in.”
Doug blinks. “What place?”
“It’s called Parlor. Run by a witch. Literally.”
“Really?” Sam says deadpan.
“She creates potions,” Deidra says proudly.
Ignoring Sam’s tone, Deidra continues happily, "Yes! So earlier today, I went and had my massage. As I was walking back to my car, I of course passed the shop. I don’t know why but something just pulled me in."
"What was it like?" Jenny asks.
"Exactly how you probably think it’s like," Deidra giggles.
“So, creepy?” Beth adds on.
"Deidra's been reading a lot of weird stuff lately,” Carl chimes in. "Especially with all these random disappearances going on.”
“Oh yeah,” Jenny responds, “Like the one that just happened last week. Those two college girls…”
“How about this?” Carl interrupts with a mischievous smirk. “Every time Deidra says ‘potion,’ we have to drink!"
"Carl, she really is a witch!" Deidra replies sternly, "and yes, these really are potions."
"Drink!" Carl yelps with glee.
They each give a little giggle and take sips of their wine.
"Anyway," she chuckles with a smirk of her own. "So, I walk in, and I'm greeted by this sweet little woman. I honestly couldn't tell you her age; In some light she looked 80, and in others she looked in her early 40s, it was very strange. So I started walking around, and the store’s mainly just filled with weird little candles and things, but then I stumbled upon a small aisle in the back with these cute little bottles lined on the shelves." She motions to the glass bottles sitting in front of her. "POTIONS. Is all the sign said."
"Drink!" Carl announces.
"So I asked the lady a few questions about each of the potions..."
"Drink!"
"And she showed me a few for like, love spells, and energy, and other weird little things. Then she showed me these."
She pauses as they each stare at the glass jars.
"So, what are those potions?" Beth asks, averting her attention to Carl purposefully.
"Drink." He winks back at Beth, who shakes her head but dutifully sips her wine.
"These were labeled 'Switch,' and they were to be bought in pairs." She pauses again, then picks two of them up to further explain. "They are very unique in that they give you the power to switch bodies with your significant other. The only potions of their kind."
“Da-rink,” Carl says, refilling his glass.
"What do you mean you switch bodies?" Jenny inquires, squinting at the bottles.
"Just that. You and your partner both drink the same-colored bottles. And about 30 minutes later, your bodies, but not minds, will switch."
The table is silent. For a while. The dinner guests are unsure whether to laugh or cringe.
"So..." Doug begins.
"So, all we have to do is drink them and see what happens."
"See what happens?" Beth asks, tugging at her ear. "Well how long is this supposed to last?"
"About 3 hours. The woman told me the switch will slowly begin to happen after about 30 minutes, then after the 3-hour mark, we simply drink these little shots, and we are back to ourselves.” She centers six additional smaller bottles that are the same color as the larger ones.
"I don't know," Jenny says quietly, "This sounds weird."
"Come on, let’s just go full fantasy tonight.” Doug says before he downs his wine.
"But what about the dogs?" Jenny asks. "What if we're not back in time to let them out to potty before the storm?"
"It's already storming," Doug responds with a shrug, "Let's just have a little fun. Ya know something we used to do before sex became a science project in futility."
"Wow, that's a beautiful way of putting us trying to expand our family," Jenny huffs as she pushes her chair out from under her.
"Jenny…" Deidra trails off, then scowls at Doug.
"Why would you say that?" Beth adds.
"I'm sorry babe," Doug sighs. "I didn't mean that. Truly. I love you. And you look so cute in that new pink dress. Let’s not ruin the night." He takes Jenny’s hand as she slowly unclenches it.
“You do have excellent taste. Thank you for this dress.” Jenny says as a small smile creeps across her face.
"Let's just try this." Deidra picks up one of the bottles and swirls the contents like she had done with her wine earlier in the evening.
"Honey," Carl says, leaning in closer with furrowed eyebrows. "Is this really necessary?"
Doug raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, why do you want to switch bodies anyway?”
Carl cuts in with a too-wide grin. “Really, sweetheart, this is kind of absurd.”
Deidra’s smile drops. She picks up her wine glass. “Well, maybe if you weren’t gone every weekend…”
“What?” Carl blinks. “Wait, So… now you don’t feel close to me?”
Beth shifts in her seat. “Should we give you guys a minute-”
“No,” Deidra says quickly, softening her tone. “We’re fine.” She turns back to the group, mustering enthusiasm. “I just think it could be fun. Come on you guys. Please?”
"Fuck it. Ok." Sam declares, reaching his arm out. "Gemme one."
Deidra gets up and slowly walks around the table as her floral shawl clings to each person as she passes them. After placing a bottle in front of each guest she resumes her own seat.
They each sit staring at the small colored glass bottle in front of them. Beth and Sam's are red, Carl and Deidra’s are deep green, and Jenny and Doug possess dark blue bottles. Beth and Jenny exchange looks of both terror and intrigue.
"Ok. So, I have to read this little poem out loud before we each take the potion for it to work," Deidra says.
“Drink,” Carl mutters shyly as he stares at the small bottle that’s been placed before him.
“So, basically it’s a spell,” Jenny comments.
“Yes,” Deidra answers. “I guess you could say that.”
Deidra pulls out a tiny piece of paper that was rolled up in her pocket and unfolds it.
Beth leans into Sam and whispers, "Are we really doing this?"
"It's bullshit," he whispers back. "Just do whatever weird thing Deidra wants us to do so we can get on with our night."
"Ok…" Beth replies with a shaky voice.
Across the table, Jenny and Doug have the same conversation. At last, everyone is ready to shoot back their strange bottle of liquid.
"Ok. Everyone ready?" Deidra asks.
Each person nods.
"Here goes:
With your spouse, each drink the same color, of one full bottle each.
Drink every last drop, until the potion is gone at the exact same speed.
Wait half an hour and by its power, you will switch bodies but not minds,
Ask the questions you're dying to ask, and the answers you will find.
Be sure by the third hour you take the shot or permanence seeps in,
By the count of 3 drink your potion together, and your journey will begin.
1-2-3."
The guests lift their bottles to their lips and drink. As the bitter taste settles in the back of their throats, they each sit quietly.
Souring his lips as his face sinks in, Doug remarks, “Well that was enjoyable.”
“Something better happen after drinking that liquid baseball mitt,” Sam echoes.
“Just wait,” Deidra smirks. “Thirty minutes and then the switch.”
Carl is slouching over the table as Jenny stares and remarks, “Carl, are you ok?”
With a glazed look he lifts his head and looks as though he’s about to pass out.
“Carl?” Deidra says in an octave higher than usual. “Carl!”
“Boo!” Carl finally bursts up with a shout and laughs at the others’ reactions.
Jenny and Beth jump in their seats releasing tiny yelps.
“Oh, very mature,” Deidra grumbles sarcastically, shaking her head.
“Yum” Carl whispers.
“And on that note,” Deidra continues, “it seems we have just enough time to clean the dishes my dear. Shall we?”
“Of course, my queen. After you,” Carl responds, still smiling after his little prank.
Carl and Deidra begin gathering dishes as Beth asks, “Need any help?”
“Sure, that’d be great,” Deidra responds.
“Are you coming?” Beth hints at Sam as he stares at his phone.
“Yeah, sorry babe, just a sec, this is work.”
“I need to use the ladies’ room,” Jenny announces, pushing her chair out.
Doug kisses Jenny on the cheek and says he’s going out back for a quick smoke.
As Deidra, Carl, and Beth head to the kitchen with the dishes, the clock on the wall reads 8:37. Beth took note of the time as they drank the potions, which was now 6 minutes ago. At around 9:01, the switch will occur.
When they reach the kitchen, Beth begins stacking plates with quiet precision. Carl starts whistling as he washes off the dishes, whispering the word “Yum” every so often.
Beth pauses. “Carl, do you…always say that?”
He looks up at her with surprise, “Say what?”
“Yum, Carl,” Deidra cuts in. “It’s this weird coping mechanism he discovered on Instagram a while back. Like, pick a random word that calms you down when you feel your stress levels rising.”
“Are you stressed?” Beth asks.
“Aren’t we all?” Carl replies.
Sam puts his phone down on the table, then scoots out his chair. He heads down the hallway, tiptoeing past the kitchen where Carl lets out a loud burst of laughter. He continues walking until he sees the light of a cracked door. Slipping his fingers through the crack, he steps inside Carl’s office. In the corner stands Jenny.
“Are you actually insane or something?” Sam asks as he enters the room. “Because if you are that’s cool; I like crazy.” Sam struts towards her. He kisses Jenny on the neck as he whispers, “Still on birth control?”
“Duh,” Jenny responds as she wraps her leg around his. “Is there a reason you and Beth pushed the wedding back or are you just trying to torture me?”
“Her dad hasn’t signed the papers yet. I don’t get anything unless…”
“I know, unless you’re in the Will and married. How close is he anyway?”
“Stage four close.”
Jenny sighs, “God I love a good terminal cancer inheritance arc.”
“You’re sick.” Sam responds with a smirk. Brushing Jenny’s hair behind her ear, he continues, “Quite the performance you put on out there with the whole fertility thing.”
“Just trying to keep it real,” Jenny smirks.
She walks over to Carl’s desk and sits on it. “Does this bring back any memories?”
“Jen, the switch could happen any minute.”
“Please tell me you don’t really believe that crazy shit.” Jenny rolls her eyes. Sam walks over and sits in the chair in front of her and as she continues, “Oh Psych Professor, I’ll do anything for a good grade.”
“And you did. Then you dumped me,” Sam replies.
“It was all part of the plan. And it’s going to work out perfectly if you just stick with it.”
“Well maybe you should talk to her tonight. Get things squared away,” Sam suggests.
“Why? Just give her more psych meds if you think she knows something.”
“Oh, it’s just that easy, huh?” Sam says, slipping his hand up her leg. “The meds weren’t the point. The point was to create a history of making shit up in her head.”
“Well, aren’t you just a genius.” Jenny flirts.
“Babe, I’m out here playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers.” Sam leers.
Jenny starts fiddling with Sam’s collar, “Let’s just get through this. You marry her, then commit her for being a crazy bitch, and let’s move on with our lives.”
“What did you say?” Sam recoils, pulling his hand off her leg.
“I said…” Jenny starts. Sam pulls at his ear. A strange look crossing over his face. “Sam?”
“Jenny?” Sam says looking around the room with a furrowed brow. “What are we doing in Carl’s office?”
Jenny sits speechless for a moment. She closes her legs and slides off the desk.
“Umm…Are you Sam, or…” Jenny asks.
“What? I’m Beth.” She clasps her hand over her mouth as she finally notices the deep voice coming out of her. “What the…” She then looks down at her body to see that instead of the tight black dress she came in, she is now wearing a pants suit. Her muscled pecs pressed up against the fabric of the button-down shirt.
Jenny shrinks inside as she gets a glimpse of the clock sitting on Carl’s desk. It reads 8:59.
“Why have you changed already but I haven’t?” Jenny gasps.
“I don’t know. I…I didn’t eat much today!” Beth responds, voice deep and familiar, but definitely not hers.
“So…this is real?” Jenny shrieks.
Suddenly, Jenny is out in the backyard with a cigarette in her hand. She looks down in disgust at her ashy fingers and throws the cigarette onto the dark grass. She then notices the cuffs of the pin-striped sleeves on her wrists, with bits of dark hair peeping through the ends. She touches around her face, feeling the scruff along her chin, and realizes she’s now in Doug’s body.
In the kitchen, several plates drop as the connection from brain to body disconnects for a moment. Suddenly, Carl and Deidra have switched, and Sam finds himself wearing an apron with tiny shards of porcelain laying around his black spiked heels. He feels his chest to find breasts there instead of his usual muscled chest. Carl and Deidra stand in the middle of the kitchen staring at one another until they both let out a loud laugh.
“Oh my God,” Deidra’s voice rasps out of Carl’s mouth. “It worked. It freaking worked!”
“Yum!” Carl exclaims in his new, light feminine voice.
“You guys are nuts,” Sam in Beth’s body remarks as he huffs out of the kitchen; heels clinking erratically.
He storms off to Carl’s office where he last remembers being, and in there he finds himself. He passes ‘Jenny’ on his way and almost stops in his tracks, trying to determine if it was really Jenny.
“What’s up.” Jenny’s body says. The two women’s bodies walk by one another, Sam in Beth’s and Doug in Jenny’s.
“Sam?” Beth asks with a deep and oddly familiar voice as Sam enters the room. Sam stands in front of, well, himself, and tries to connect the visual of his own face with the knowledge that he is facing his fiancé instead.
“Come on, we’re leaving,” Sam demands in his woman-like voice.
“We can’t!” Beth barks. “We can’t go anywhere like this.”
“Those crazy fucks!” Sam squeals. “They’re just in the kitchen laughing about it like total freak shows.”
“We’re the idiots that actually took the potion.” Beth begins to cry; the action looks out of place on Sam’s face. “Were you just in here with Jenny?” Beth asks, suddenly recalling the conversation she overheard as they switched.
“What?” Sam responds. “No, I mean I don’t think so, I don’t remember.”
“You don’t remember?” Beth raises her eyebrows and tilts her head slightly. Sam watches his body stare down at him, which is a shock in its own right, with Beth’s signature accusatory glare.
“No, I was not in here with her, ok? Stop being so paranoid.”
“Paranoid? I caught her talking about marrying then committing someone. Were you talking about me?”
Sam begins to walk out; his heels clicking with every step.
“Sam!” Beth roars.
“We’re just a little worried about you, that's all,” Sam sheepishly replies.
“Worried. Really?”
Sam throws his hands into the air as the bracelets Beth had put on this morning jingle then slip down his arm. “Yes! My God Beth you thought Jenny and I were having an affair six months ago!”
“And then you put me on psychosis drugs and threatened to put me in a mental hospital.”
“Because you wouldn’t let it go!”
“Most people get counseling or just, I don’t know, talk about it. But you, instead, write a prescription for crazy people drugs.” Beth hardly moves through the conversation, holding her stance as she watches Sam pace the room, exasperation in his every step.
“OMG Beth, really. It never happened! And there was no convincing you otherwise, and it was ruining our lives.”
“You never got over her did you? The two of you broke up so quickly in college, and it was more than just the fact that you were her professor. Why did you ever want to be with me anyway?” Beth asks, tugging at her ear with her large hand.
“Beth, please do not do this right now,” Sam pleads.
Beth releases her stance, returning to something neutral that almost reflects the way Sam usually stood, which only served to bewilder Sam once again. “Whatever.” Beth starts, “I don’t even want to talk about this right now. Let’s just figure this crazy shit out.”
Sam stops his pacing, turning to face her. “Agreed.”
Meanwhile, Deidra and Carl have left the kitchen and are looking for the others. They find Doug, who is now Jenny, out back lying on the cold ground beneath the covered porch, as heavy rain falls all around.
“Doug? Or is it, Jenny?” Deidra in Carl’s body asks.
“It’s Jenny.” The man looks up at Deidra and exclaims, “Deidra, what the fuck?”
“Over here actually.” Deidra motions to herself in Carl’s body.
“I’m so sorry,” Deidra responds in Carl’s deep voice. “I didn’t think it would be this weird.”
“Maybe we should all go in and talk about it,” Carl remarks in Deidra’s light voice.
Deidra lends a hand down to help Jenny up off the ground.
“Everyone!” Deidra barks as she slams the back door open. “Sorry. I’m not used to my strength in this body,” she continues. “Let’s reconvene in the living room.”
Beth and Sam begin walking down the hallway toward the living room. As they pass the bathroom, they see Doug who’s in Jenny’s body. He is staring at himself in the mirror while curiously touching his new breasts. His long, blonde hair has been released from its hair tie, and now cascades down his back. His eyes are wide, mouth slightly agape as he appraises his new form.
“Doug,” Beth in Sam’s body demands.
Doug snaps out of it and follows them to the living room, of course, not without a final glance back to the mirror as he turns to leave. Each person begrudgingly sits on the couch with arms folded.
“I’m going to actually freak the fuck out soon.” Jenny begins to sob as she brushes a piece of sandy blonde hair away from her eyes. She groans in her new deep voice as drops of tears land on the collar of the dress shirt she’d helped Doug pick out that afternoon.
“Deidra, this is…” Beth begins.
“Some fucked up shit,” Sam finishes.
“I know you’re all upset…” Deidra begins. Her now 6-foot 4 stature leaning over each guest like a willow tree. “But let’s try to have some fun with it!”
“Fun?” Jenny bursts. “I have to pee, and I’m not even sure how to do that!”
“I can help you with that,” Doug says, with a smirk that looks far too foreign on Jenny’s face.
“Whatever. And stop touching yourself; it’s weird!” Jenny barks.
“Guys, come on. It’s really not that bad.” Carl chirps, “Look Deidra and I are having fun with it!”
“It only lasts 3 hours.” Deidra remarks.
“This is fucking bonkers.” Sam scoffs, a bitchy glare in his eyes.
“Guys, come on, three hours is not long at all,” Carl gently assures. “Look, we’ve been like this for what, 30 minutes? Two and a half hours to go, and by midnight, we all just take the shot like that poem said, and we’re back.”
“And if we don’t drink it, what happens?” Doug asks.
“Permanence sets in,” Beth responds. “Right?” She angrily averts her attention to Deidra in Carl’s body.
“Oh my God. So, we could get stuck like this forever?” Jenny asks, looking horrified.
“If we don’t take the shot,” Carl answers. “Guys, it’s not that hard. At around midnight, we take it, and it’s over. We will be ok.”
Just then, Deidra gets a tenge of anger coursing through her. She looks around the living room until finally bursting, “Can we all just stop whining and enjoy it? I mean, fuck! I just wanted to do something different for once!”
Everyone looks at her blankly. The friends have rarely seen her angry. Carl, as jovial as he can be, is usually the one to blow his top. But as she stands there inside of Carl’s body, her angry eyes certainly do fit his sometimes hostile demeanor.
“Sorry,” Deidra apologizes, almost immediately embarrassed, “I don’t know where that came from.”
“No, you’re right Deidra. We will just wait this out,” Beth concurs, pulling at her ear, “I’ll be right back.” Beth pushes her new body off the couch, adjusting for the change in height and weight.
Moments later she yells from the dining room, “Deidra, do you have tape and a marker I can use?”
“Umm…” Deidra pauses to think for a second. “Yes, try the junk drawer by the fridge!” she barks back.
After a couple of minutes Beth walks back in and begins circling the room to each guest, carefully pinning the place card names against their new bodily owners.
Doug looks down at his and reads aloud, “Womanly Doug?”
“Yes,” Beth answers. “Do any of you have any other suggestions as to how we keep each other straight?”
She tapes one on herself that reads ‘Manly Beth.’
Sam bursts into a loud laugh as he responds, “Now I know I’ve lost my fucking mind. Look at us.” He looks down at his own sign that says ‘Womanly Sam.’ “I thought I’d seen it all,” he continues, deliriously laughing.
“Why don’t I go get us some wine?” Carl politely suggests.
“Oh, and we have some desserts I picked up from that bakery down the street.” Deidra adds, “You know the one I got the…”
“Yeah, sure, whatever Deidra,” Doug interrupts doing a shooing motion.
“These desserts won’t make us grow tails or something will they?” Jenny groans.
Deidra smiles politely and excuses herself.
Each guest squirms in their new body as the night trails on. A few bottles of wine and a full playlist later, the guests are all now quite happy and drunk. They playfully tease as the end of a long Pictionary game comes to a close.
“I swear to God that was not a bird!” Sam yelps in his soft lady-like voice.
“What time is it?” Beth barks with a burp. “Oh, excuse me!” she gasps as the others laugh.
Deidra looks at the clock and responds in her deep voice, “11:30!”
“We only have 30 minutes left!” Jenny bursts with a grin.
Sam and Doug high-five as their manicured nails clink together. They make a face at each other after, unsure if the feeling freaked them out or not.
“I’m going out to get a smoke,” Doug announces, patting down his hips, seemingly searching for pockets that don’t exist.
“What?” Jenny says from across the room. “Not in my body you aren’t. Those are my lungs thank you.”
“Ugh,” Doug responds, realizing he doesn’t even have his cigarettes on him anyway. “Fine, whatever, I’m gonna go grab a beer then.”
“I’ll come with,” Sam proposes.
The two of them tiptoe away barefoot as the heels their ladies had shown up in have proven to be far too tricky for them to walk in. They head to the kitchen and Sam opens the fridge.
“The beers are gone!” Sam yells shrilly to the living room.
“There’s some in the garage fridge!” Deidra barks back.
Sam and Doug head to the garage as Sam says, “I’ve never even been in their garage. I’m kind of curious to see what it looks like.”
“It’s a garage,” Doug responds with a shoulder shrug.
Doug opens the door to the garage and flips the light on, located on the left side of the wall as they enter. He heads straight to the fridge and pulls it open.
Sam trails behind and finds himself intrigued by the workbench to the right. He scoops around Deidra’s white Lexus and flips on the light above the bench. On the wall hangs a calendar with several tiny things written in a few squares. It being May, the calendar picture for the month is a field of flowers. Sam fingers through it catching sight of things that highlight Doctors appointments, birthdays of various family members, and so on.
“Doesn’t Carl have like, a phone? Why is he writing all this on here?” Sam asks.
“Carl’s a strange cat. Who knows,” Doug responds.
“Yeah, I guess,” Sam mutters to himself as he flips through the calendar some more.
“I have to admit though, I kind of like being in this body.” Doug giggles from behind Sam.
“What?” Sam spins around to see Doug gazing at his reflection in the rearview mirror of the Lexus, turning his head side to side and twisting his body to view it from other angles.
He looks up as Sam tilts his head, a single eyebrow raised. Suddenly a little sheepish, Doug moves away from the car. “Nothing. Forget it.”
Sam flips the calendar to the month of last year’s November and sees the writing, “Quail Hunting Season.” There’s an arrow that goes through all the way to January of this year.
“That’s intersting,” Sam mutters quietly to himself.
“What?”
“Quail hunting season was months ago. And we just had some. Didn’t he say it was fresh?”
“I don’t know. Who cares? He’s probably hunting illegally,” Doug says as he walks up next to Sam snapping a beer open. “Why are you over here snooping?”
“I don’t know,” Sam shrugs. “I’m feeling unusually nosy.” He motions to Doug’s beer. “Did you get me one of those, asshole?”
“Go help yourself,” Doug responds with a bubbly sip.
Sam heads over to the fridge, opens it and pulls out a beer breaking one of his long fingernails. Just as he begins to close the door, he notices a brownish red stain on the back of the fridge. Leaning in to get a better look, he decides instead to look in the freezer above. He shuts the fridge door and opens the top freezer. In there are several large tightly sealed pieces of meat.
“Well, I found his Quail collection. Guess it wasn’t as fresh as he claimed it to be,” Sam announces.
“Eww, gross!” Doug replies with a feminine nod and not-so-feminine scowl on his face.
“I think you mean, yum.” Sam jokes.
Sam looks a little closer and notices none of the meats actually look like quail, rather just big slabs of meat. “Weird,” he says to himself before closing the freezer.
With a beer each, they head toward the door leading to the house and step back inside.
As they enter, the sound of yelling echoes through the house. The two of them run to the living room to find Beth in Sam’s body lying on the floor with her head bleeding; Sam’s brown hair now covered in thick red blood. She lifts herself up holding the side of her head as Deidra inside of Carl’s body stands there defensively.
“What the fuck is going on?” Sam squeals, running over to her.
Sam in Beth’s dress splits in the back as he awkwardly bends over to aid Beth. Suddenly, Sam’s head inside of Beth’s body begins to throb with pain as well. “What happened?” Sam yells again.
“I don’t know, I just…” Deidra begins. “I feel like I’m having one of Carl’s episodes or something.” Deidra laments with her deep voice.
“One of his episodes?” Sam echoes.
“I’m fine Sam, really,” Beth says, pushing her large muscly body off the floor, still a little unstable.
Jenny sits frozen on the couch looking at Deidra in Carl’s body as she stands in the middle of the room. Carl sits on the couch clasping his hand over his mouth in an effort to hide the grimacing smile that has crept across his womanly face.
“Jenny!” Doug yells, “Snap out of it!”
“I’m not really sure what happened,” Jenny begins quietly. “All of a sudden Carl, I mean Deidra inside of Carl’s body, just snapped and started yelling. There was this crazy look in her eyes, and then out of nowhere she smashed Beth’s, well, Sam’s head really, against the entertainment center.”
“I’m so sorry about this…” Deidra babbles, tears trickling down her manly face.
Sam and Carl have been friends since they were ten, and while a little eccentric, Carl was always the upbeat one in the group. He had his moments of rage that most men likely do, but nothing crazy. While the two of them haven’t exactly been close over the past few years, Sam had never heard of these so-called “episodes.”
“Maybe you guys should leave,” Deidra grunts, wiping her face.
“No way,” Jenny protests, looking at the clock. “We’ve got 15 minutes left and I’m not missing taking my shot.”
“We can take it with us,” Doug insists. “Let’s just get the fuck out of here.”
Doug begins to help his wife who’s trapped in his body up off the couch but doesn’t have much luck as he in her body, is much smaller. Jenny pushes Doug off her and springs herself off the couch.
“Yes, go,” Deidra agrees. “I can’t stop having these weird thoughts.”
“What kind of weird thoughts are you having?” Doug asks as a sensual heat comes over him.
“Like-” Deidra begins.
“Because I’ve been having weird thoughts too.” Doug jumps in.
“What?” Jenny says, looking down at Doug.
“Yeah. Like suddenly, I just want Sam,” responds Doug in Jenny’s body.
“You just want Sam?” Beth repeats.
“Wait a minute,” Sam says nervously. “Why is Deidra having an episode inside of Carl’s body? I thought we just switched bodies, not minds.”
“I don’t know,” Deidra looks around bewildered, “I feel all this anger suddenly pulsing through me.”
“What do you mean?” Jenny asks.
“I don’t know how to explain it…” Deidra confesses, looking confused and a little scared. “I just feel like I have these memories, and thoughts…”
“Like you want to kill someone.” Carl interjects; a strange look coming over his feminine face.
“Yum” Deidra murmurs with the same unsettling expression flickering across her Carl-face. Then just like that, she snaps out of it, blinking as if she’d just been momentarily possessed.
“What?” Sam says, staring. “Hold on-are you saying that you actually usually have thought about murder?” He turns directly to Carl in Deidra’s body. “Do you think about killing people?” Carl doesn’t answer. Just smiles. Sam takes a step back, eyes darting between them. “Okay. Nope. Both of you-stay the hell away from me.”
“What did I do?” Carl giggles.
The room is silent. The clock ticks on and reveals there are about 10 minutes left until the switch. Sam looks over at Jenny and Doug holding hands with a bitter expression. Beth catches Sam’s jealous stare and storms off to the kitchen.
Pulling Sam’s phone out of her pocket, she realizes she’s never going to look like Sam again, so she should make use of his face while she can. Hiding away in the kitchen, Beth holds the phone up to her face, unlocking it.
Meanwhile, back in the living room a conversation over quail ensues.
“And why isn’t it shaped like quail, Carl?” Sam demands, “It’s just these huge slabs of meat. What the hell did we eat earlier?”
“Oh, are you some kind of quail expert now Sam?” Carl snaps back. “Professor, Doctor, student fucker, and now quail expert?”
The look in Carl’s long-lashed eyes is alarming, but the tension is broken by Beth’s reentering the room in a panic.
“I knew it! You asshole!” she bellows at Sam.
She lunges at Sam who as of right now is just the small frame of a woman. Jenny and Doug pull Beth away from Sam, assuring her she could hurt Sam in the female body he now possesses.
Beth takes a few deep breaths then begins staring daggers at Doug in Jenny’s body. Beth lunges at Doug but rather than attack, she begins to kiss Doug in Jenny’s body with reckless abandon.
The other guests look upon the scene of the bodies of Jenny and Sam making out right in front of them in shock.
Suddenly, Beth pulls off of Doug and stands stunned.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Beth sputters, stumbling backwards. “I just had the strongest urge to kiss you.”
She thinks about it a little further before scoffing. “Of course. Because I’m in Sam’s body, and you’re in Jenny’s.” She whirls around to face Sam and Jenny. “How long have the two of you been sleeping together? Tell me the truth!”
“I knew it.” Doug quietly says to himself.
Beth looks back and forth from Sam to Jenny as tears begin to form in her eyes.
“Beth, please…” Sam begins.
“Just stop, don’t try to lie again. I’ve got the texts right here.” Beth spurts out holding Sam’s phone up. She lets out a low-pitched chuckle as she throws Sam’s phone on the couch.
Doug looks at the clock on the wall and sighs, “Well, about 5 minutes left, then I’ll be calling a divorce lawyer.”
Doug heads to the backyard as Jenny trails closely behind, begging him to reconsider.
“Doug, please!” Jenny pleads.
“I’ll go set out the shots on the kitchen counter,” Deidra says, uncomfortably loosening her kitten tie as she leaves the room.
Beth and Sam soon follow; a scowled look upon Beth’s face. As they line up the small bottles across the island, they overhear Jenny and Doug talking out on the back porch.
“Can we talk about this on the way home?” Jenny asks, “We need to go inside and take the shots.”
“I'm not taking the shot,” Doug announces, a resolute look on his face.
“Saw that one coming…” Sam whispers to himself.
“What do you mean you're not taking it?” Jenny continues.
“I’m not taking it,” Doug responds with a nonchalant shrug.
“So, are you, like, punishing me or something?” Jenny asks angrily.
“Nope,” Doug replies. He seems somewhat embarrassed, but remarkably confident in his stance, clearly having made his decision and sticking to it.
“Oh, I get it. You like being in my body don't you!” Jenny barks. “No wonder you like shopping for me! Well, fuck that. I'm not staying in this little wannabe Backstreet Boys body!”
She tries to grab Doug's arm to drag him back inside, but he pulls away before she can. He shoots her an incensed glare and the two begin yelling at each other, Doug determined to remain a woman and Jenny eager to get back to being one.
Back in the kitchen, Sam and Beth both take a shot in their hands and begin drinking. Deidra calls out to Jenny and Doug to come back in, but they’re too deep into arguing to hear the loud bark of Deidra’s summoning.
“Carl?” Deidra yells. Then redirects her tone to Sam and Beth, “I can’t drink the shot without him. I’m gonna go find him really quick.”
Deidra heads out to the living room just as Carl still in Deidra’s body enters the kitchen from the laundry room. With all the commotion, no one even noticed that he had left for a moment.
“I’m really glad this all worked out,” Beth and Sam hear Carl’s light voice say.
Sam glances over, eyes narrowing as he finishes his last sip of the potion. “Dude,” Sam mutters, “Get the fuck away from us.” He closes his eyes for a beat, takes a breath, and opens them again. “Go find Deidra,” He says now in his own voice, “She’s looking for you.”
“No need.” Carl smiles, lips twitching at the corners. Without another word, Carl brings his floral-shawled arm around from behind his back to reveal a machete. Without hesitation, it comes crashing down on Sam’s skull., quickly followed by Sam’s body hitting the ground with a heavy thud.
Beth, blinks her eyes, realizing she’s now back in her own body, and suddenly notices Sam on the ground next to her. As she bends down to Sam, she misses the blow coming her way from Carl.
“No Carl!” Deidra bellows as she runs back toward the kitchen.
Beth looks up quickly and narrowly escapes as she runs out the back door busting between Doug and Jenny yelling, “Run!”
“What the hell!” Jenny exclaims as she rushes by.
Beth runs swiftly through the backyard, slipping once on the wet grass. Carl bursts through the back door with a machete. Jenny and Doug catch on quickly but not quickly enough. Carl whacks them both. They fall to the ground, blood pooling heavily around their heads.
Running toward Beth, he doesn’t quite make it as she throws herself over the tall back stone fence. Deidra comes running out after Carl. She stands by the bodies of Jenny and Doug and begins crying. A deep, groan escaping from her Carl body.
As Carl begins to strut towards her, she quivers as he quickly says, “I’m not going to kill you.”
“What is wrong with you? Why did you kill them? And why do I have these violent images swirling around in my head? Are you some kind of murderer or something?”
“I prefer the term, Serial Killer.” Carl says with an evil smile. “Let’s just go inside and talk about it.”
“What the fuck!” Deidra responds trying to take in this information. “Are… you the one responsible for all disappearances?”
“Oh hun,” Carl giggles in Deidra’s sweet, high-pitched chime, “You were just so desperate to impress my friends weren’t you? All these years feeling like the oddball out because we didn’t meet until later in life. As soon as you placed those bottles on the table, I knew this was going to be a fun night. And oh man, the best part is when you got to experience the same joy I have.”
“Joy? For murder?” Deidra asks.
“Oh, yum,” Carl smiles slyly, “Come on, honey, let’s just go inside and drink the shots,” He pushes her back toward the house.
“Fine,” Deidra sputters out as tears roll down her manly face.
They both step inside the house and walk to the kitchen island. Carl kicks Sam’s body aside as they both take a seat on a barstool. They each pick up a small shot bottle.
“Bottoms up my queen.” Carl winks at her.
They both lift the tiny bottles and press them to their lips. One swallow, then another, until the last bitter drop is gone.
Deidra closes her eyes tight. When she opens them, she exhales; shoulders lowering as she feels the familiar weight of her shawl again. Relief washes over her in a quiet wave.
But it doesn’t last.
“Wait…” she says, straightening suddenly, her body going rigid. “Oh my God.” She stares down at the empty glass in front of her like its turned to ash. “They were killed when you were in my body.” Her voice is hollow, unraveling.
Carl’s face, now his own again, lights up with the realization and something far worse.
“That means…” she gasps, eyes wide, “it looks like I killed them.”
Carl leans back, smirking, “Yum.”
She stands up gripping the machete that’s still in her hands, anger filling her eyes. Just then, the front door is broken in.
“This is the police, put your hands up!”
Deidra drops the machete instantly as the cops enter the room. Her blood-covered shawl swings across her body as she throws her hands up.
The next day, a news reporter stands in front of Deidra and Carl’s residence delivering this message:
“We are awakened this Saturday morning with a horrific scene that occurred in this home overnight leading to a massacre amongst friends. Deidra McAllister, wife of prominent businessman Carl McAllister, has been charged with the murders of 3 of their friends, and nearly slaughtering her own husband as well. Upon further investigation into their home, the police have found several pounds of meat stuffed into a garage freezer that has been determined to be human. A box full of memorabilia has also been discovered in the home containing items assumably belonging to the slain victims; As many as 15 casualties have been recounted so far. It seems she has been on a killing spree for quite some time now.”
Meanwhile, back at the station, Beth has been brought in as one of the only survivors and witnesses to the murders. She sits in her ripped skirt upon a plastic chair with a black wool blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her face is covered in dirt and runny mascara as she sits in an interrogation room.
“I swear it wasn’t Deidra, it was Carl!” she yells at the investigators.
“Ma’am, Deidra was the one holding the machete when the police broke in. And furthermore, their backyard security cameras caught clear footage of Deidra killing Jenny and Doug Johnson. It doesn’t get much more clear-cut than that.”
“But we all switched bodies! That wasn’t her!” She tugs at her ear that’s turned bright red.
“Beth Carmichael. That’s your name, correct?”
“Yes.”
“I see here in your file that you have a history of psychosis?”
Meg Tenuta was born on Valentine's Day in San Antonio, TX, and has been chasing stories, stages, and spotlights ever since. A singer, dancer, and actress by trade, she moved to Los Angeles at 19. She spent her early career performing across the country, eventually appearing on reality TV shows like I Survived a Japanese Game Show, American Idol, and Summer Camp, along with landing over 100 commercials credits. But it wasn't until years later, in Nashville's songwriting circles and quiet moments between gigs that Meg discovered her true passion: storytelling. Now based in the suburbs of Chicago with her husband and two daughters, she's focused on completing her debut novel; a mythological, emotionally layered story she's been shaping for years.
